Terrine: Halloween... Why Do Girls Dress and Act Like SLUTSSS??

As everyone knows... it is Halloween on next sunday!

For the occasion, I had a party at the university on last tuesday and after what I've seen... I can't stop wondering why girls all turn out to be sluts on Halloween!?!?

I've got to confess... Even I was wearing a kind of a slutty costume on that party, my costume was a ''Jersey Shore style''... kind of douche!  But that's not really my point, a douchegirl is kind of slutty, you have to be at least sexy to be credible being this character!

What I don't understand is why a pumpkin should have to be slutty or why a cat would show off its belly.  That's not what the character is!  There was this girl a the party, wearing leopard lingerie with cat ears, trying to be a slutty cat with 5 boys around her looking at EVERYTHING ('cause that's what she exposed!!)... in fact boys were even laughing at her, 'cause she looked desperate!

Just like Sue Sylvester (from GLEE), I think we should go back to the true spirit of Halloween: HORROR and FEAR!  So next year, I think I might wear a costume of a sexually-transmitted disease to scare the slutty cats, slutty pumpkins and slutty princesses.  And then, in two years there will be no more slutty cats, slutty pumpkins or slutty princesses, but only cats, pumpkins, princesses, nuns!

Terrine: How I Met Your Mother.

I had heard of the TV-show "How I Met Your Mother" since a while, but had never watched it...... Since last week-end!

I'm addicted and already at the middle of season 2!!!
This TV-show is definitely Legend.............wait for it........................DAIRY.

Terrine: Cool Guys Don't Look At Explosions

Lol I found this video on YouJizz Youtube and found it so hilarious! The singer's quite hot and I love the fact that one of Fabulous Andy, Rodzilla and I's favorite movies is in the list (From Dusk Till Dawn with George Cloné). Take a look at it:

Rodzilla: Smokers Are Just Plain Nasty

Yup! That's what I really think about smokers. Whether it's Cigarette, Pot, Crack, Ass Crack, Meth, Acid or wuteva, I just can't stand the breath people get from it.

When I was 18 years old starting out as a newly horny young bud, I had never thought about the matter nor wanted to discriminate people based on whether they smoked or not. Let's face it: I was so horny that I wanted to fuck the whole world!!! But as the time rose on, I had more experience and finally came to the conclusion that I had never enjoyed any kiss from a smoker. Everytime I kiss or French-kiss (it's my specialty; I'm a French Canadian) another jock, I always expect nothing but la crème de la crème ya know. Nobody wants to be face-licked or to have dry lips from acid, over-exposed saliva. Actually I found out that clumsy kissers, juicy kissers and lame kissers might sound bad but nothing beats bad breath or cigarette breath in terms of disgustingness.

To me, cigarette smells like gaz coming out of the exhaust pipe of a car; it's toxic, radioactive and tastes sick. The worst thing that can happen to you is if the smoker guy wants to blow you or eat your ass (this one's for you Fabulous Andy!!!); I always feel like I'm gonna get cancer from it. And in fact, I really do think you could catch it 'cuz God knows what kinda shit is mixed with nicotine in cigarettes!

 I remember this party I've been to something like eight months ago, it was a smash-hit party at an over-the-top, black drag queen's from Le Cabaret Mado. The party was going on pretty fine and my whore-mones were starting to steam up. There was a dude that I had spotted and wanted to make out with him so badly. I waited a few hours until we finally got the opportunity to talk to each other and when I finally made out with him (naked in the jacuzzi with six other horny gays), I stood up in the jacuzzi (with my weiner showing off) and kissed him wildly. What I had expected to be a memorable liplock turned out to be the most awful and painful taste of flesh ever! I think I could've kissed a dead mouse and it would've tasted better!!! Since that time, I've made myself a wish-list of no-nos and smokers are first on my list. Unlike what famous swedish cheesy singer Günther would say, that's a no-no and I DON'T like it!!!

BTW: We're in 2010, smoking is fashionable only in movies such as Pulp Fiction and shit. Otherwise, it's just too expensive and nasty!

Fabulous Andy: Wake-Up Call

Women constantly need support and reinforcement from other in order to feel good. We females doubt about everything, thus the famous sentence, "Do you really love me?" that makes men mad. Why is that anyways? Men get mad because once they have established that they love their second half, they do not feel the need to talk about it anymore. The recurring questions about the validity of their feelings irritates them, as they feel that their partner doesn't trust them.

Even though this is the norm, I feel like taking the men's side in this situation. Honestly, insecurity is what makes women so prone to depression or abuse. Cherry recently told me about her friend's situation: this chick is so "in love" with her dictator-like man that she will do everything he wants her to, such as walking behind him so that he can take the lead or going to the gym because he says she's fat. Not to mention that he appears to have some ejaculation problems, so he'll basically just use her as a cum container.

WE ARE LIVING IN CANADA IN 2010; THIS SHOULD NOT BE HAPPENING!

Wake up, ladies! You deserve to be loved and you should know that. As much as we claim to be "independant", some girls still cannot be respected because they constantly doubt about their beauty, intellect or natural talents in bed. This doubt is used by manipulators and abusers in order to make them feel good about their small penises or about some well-hidden issues that occured in their past. Please do not help them become women-haters, such as Cherry's friend's situation. So when a man tells you he loves you, believe it, but don't lose yourself into pleasing him just because you think you are not worth it.

Rodzilla: Perhaps Perez Is Becoming Too Nice

Geez! I've come up on this video just recently and was quite astonished to hear Mr. Perez Hilton, the Queen of all Medias herself say that he'd stop bullying people and "outing" in-the-closet celebrities. Frankly, I'm thorned between my very two reactions; one part of me thinks that's great and will stop people having negative comments about gays being so bitchy while one part of me is afraid that surfing http://cocoperez.com/ and http://perezhilton.com/ will become obsolete. Because I have to confess that I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Perez!!! He's not the kind of guy that would attract me normally but I have to say that he's adorable and seems to be very nice to be around. Enjoy!

And here's Mr. Hilton and Ellen Dégénérée shit-chatting about his recent come out of bullying:

Rodzilla: Only Girl (Wearing Red Hair in 2010)

This is Barbado's most famous chiquita, Rihanna's latest video for her new single "Only Girl (In The World)". I have to say I think her hair is nice but I think it looks a bit too 90s Tyra Banks or whatever. Don't you also find that the song is a bit reminiscent of her smash-hit "Don't Stop The Music"?! Seems like she's re-visiting herself! Anyways, enjoy!

Rodzilla: So You Think You Can Fuck?

Oh Mijn God!!! Hilarious! So hum... you think you can fuck Matthew Rush, really?!

How hilarious is this shit? This has to be the funniest thing I've cum come up to on the web! It's pretty funny that they turned the very family-targeted show "So You Think You Can Dance" into this whole porn 3D experience with my all-time favourite, Matthew Rush! I have to confess you something here: when I was in secondary 4 (grade 10), I used to fantasize like hell about Matthew Rush! In fact, he was my idol and made me want to do porn lol! I actually had told one of my (only) friends at the time. His name was Zézé and he was such a creep. Anyway, even if Zézé was completely fucked up, he still managed to have more common sense than me regarding Falcon Studios' exclusive jock, Matthew Rush lol! Oh and last but not least, I have to tell you that when I was about to turn 16, my friend Zézé asked me what I wanted as a gift for my birthday and I replied: Matthew Rush's molded cock dildo lol!! He never gave it to me, to my great sadness.

Rodzilla: Swimming Tool

Lemme talk y'all into my new lifestyle: exercising and tonin' my muthafuckin' gaytto body.

That's right, y'all read well, I recently decided I was fed up of looking like a cheap crisp of simili-chicken. It's been years that I'm obsessed about fashion videos with toned and under-fed models rocking the runway. I figured out it was time for me to get a pâté just like them (though I will continue to eat, since bone-skinny men are not that hot).

Okay so having this problem of sweating like a whore in church the moment I wear anything broader than a 1cm² of fabric, I felt like exercising with clothes wasn't my thing. I don't want all my cute white t-shirts to become yellow and smelly, oh HELL NO. So I found out a cheap way (I'm VERY, VERY CHEAP) to do sports, tone and increase my sexiness and thus, my cardio without spending a buck: going to the municipal pool!!! Hurray for me, some dudes look gay and are eatable. I mean you must agree this is a good one:

-I don't have to spend a single buck on anything (it's free with the city pass)

-I get to hunt my next prey and have a preview of what's in it for me

-I get to sweat my life into the too-chlored water
-The only piece of cloth I need to wear is my micro-speedough (a neon-bright Punto Blanco one, bought in Cape Cunt, MA last summer).

So I'll be completely honest with you: it's not that much about doing sports, it's more about living my life as a pervert, showering with other boys and looking goddamn fine!  I highly recommand any lazyass like me to undertake a journey to the nearby swimming pool; it is defenitely worth it. Oh and if the pool has a sauna (or a dark steamed-room), things might get even hotter and wilder. Unlike what RuPaul would tell his Drag Race candidates, always FUCK IT UP!

P.S.: I would like to take this last sentence of my article to make you aknowledge the fact that Terrine hasn't written on the blog since a while, I guess she better keep up (and catch up) if she wants y'all to notice her existence on the blog...!!!

P.S.²: I didn't masturbate in the Stock's bathroom during Fabulous Andy's dirty session trust me; my kidneys were about to release the water blocked by the Hoover Dam!

Fabulous Andy: The Stock's Ugly Stock

Rodzilla, Terrine and I love to hang out in Montreal's Gay Village. Gorgeous guys make out together and they won't have a boner while dancing with you, except in some rare cases...

Wednesday is the ladies' night at the Stock Bar, usually a gay-friendly strip club. Rodzilla and I sat at a table where I drank beer and he drank water. In fact, he recently started drinking in Germany, where we had no choice but to gulp currywursts with Berliner beer. So the show started off well; nice-looking hunks would get undressed and make women scream with their everlasting erections. Some were obviously gay, others we weren't sure of. In any case, they had to strut their stuff in front of men during the rest of the week, so they must have had a certain interest in doing so.

I was a bit broke, so paying for a private dance was out of question. One of the dancers, however, kept poking me when he would pass by our table. I continued to ignore him. At one point, Rodzilla had to pee (or masturbate? I shall never know.), so he left me alone.

The poking dancer came back. I turned around, about to tell him I was not going to pay for a dance, when he asked me, "Is he your boyfriend?". I was shocked, so after blabbering that Rod was gay, he told me how pretty I was.

All I found to say is, "But, aren't you GAY? I mean, you work here!".

Apparently, he wasn't. When Rodzilla had finished peeing/masturbating, Pokie said he would strip down in a cabin for me... for free. Talkin' about a special treatment! So, I left Rod alone at the table and proceeded to the minuscule, crassy wooden cabin. Right away, he gave me an in-depth mouthwash with his tongue while getting undressed. Seeing him from that close, I realized that he was the worst dancer on stage and thought, "Damn girl, get outta here!".

He called a few times after that unfortunate cabin fun, but I never answered. Seriously, who would want to go out with a guy who not only is a nude dancer in the Village, but who's bad at it?

I mean, compared to him, Occupation Double's Jimmy is a living god.

Fabulous Andy: The Rapper-Manager Finding Your Lovin' Time

The employees of the restaurant where I work are either men who are very concerned with their appearance or completely disgusting. My fellow waiter friends always have 20 liters of gel in their hair. Hey, at least they smell nice. I would hate having to be served by a greasy-looking guy.

The other guys work in the kitchen or in the dishwasher. Because their environment is constantly humid, they sweat... but not in a I-just-worked-out-wanna-fuck? kinda way. They stink. Their new manager, Mr. J, however, always looks fine even though he yells constantly.

Honestly, I hated the dude when I started working there. He has a huge ghetto attitude, but he calms down as soon as you get to know him. On a Saturday night, we hung out at the bar. While I was gulping down a bright blue martini, his friend asked him to pick him up in downtown Montreal. He then asked me whether I would keep him company or not.

Was this planned already? I dunno, but I still went in his car.

He told me he was preparing a CD soon. When his friend was in the car with us, he made me listen one of their songs. Honestly not bad, but the girl singing the chorus had such an annoying voice. His friend seemed a bit insulted that I would DARE criticize his composition. Um, dude, I'm going to be a journalist. Of course I will criticize everything!

In that case, however, I should've been a good girl who would smile and nod to agree on the chorus' "profound meaning".

Our Big Mac Trio finally went to a bar downtown to drink some beer to then hit the dancefloor. As expected, Mr. J and I started making out. Then, something unexpected happened: I saw my ex-boyfriend's sister dancing right next to us! I had to tell her that I was finished with her brother before I could even dare to look ar her straight in the eyes. The poor girl thought I was cheating for a minute, there.

When the bar closed at 3 a.m., the Big Mac Trio had an additional french frie to the package. His friend had hooked up with a tall, skinny girl who had difficulty walking in heels. Creatively inspired by our greasiness, I guess, we went to "La Belle Province" to eat the recommended quantity of trans fat for the rest of the week. French-frie girl finally took off after almost getting into a fight with some be-yotch. The Trio went back to the South Shore.

After Mr. J dropped his friend off, we went back to his place to experience some "muy caliente" sexytime. After he detached my Elle Macpherson bra, he put a CD on...

The mere thought of listening to Drake's "Find Your Love" while fucking will forever haunt me.

Rodzilla: What Happens South of the St-Lawrence River...

Okay so this article is mainly about this blog’s lovely trio’s latest delirious night south of town...!!! I am posting this a bit late because guess what?! I’ve been busy mit Universität!

So as I was incredibly horny last Saturday, I invited Fabulous Andy, Terrine and one of my new University Jock buddies, St-Lawrence. We intended to have a great time with more outgoing and out-o’their-crazy-minds shiznits than the previous weekend where I had attempted to make a house party. As I was supposed to stay home afterwards (I was sleeping at home with Terrine), I decided I could drink as much as possible to celebrate my last free night before my parents’ homecoming the day after.

I started out pretty wildly; mixing bloody Caesar, white wine, rhum, vodka and some other shiz. With my burning desire to heat things up, I had the very bright idea to play some sort of truth or dare (without truth) with some sex shop-designed dices. We were also playing with a bottle!!! HAHAH how childish of us! Anyways, the thing is, when you’re too shy to make a move, you can always start playing with an empty bottle. It turned out we all made sexual things to one another. My new hunky friend St-Lawrence, who had, at that particular time, a girlfriend, seemed to be wanting to broaden his horizons. As I knew both Terrine and Fabulous Andy desperately needed a piece of ass, I tried my best to hook’em up altogether.

What’s funny is that what I had been wishing to do finally came true but I didn’t really like the feeling afterward. Can you believe Terrine, Fabulous Andy & St-Lawrence locked themselves in my bathroom to get laid?! I felt really Ensom (Danish for lonely) and had a very big hangover. I then proceeded to get some sleep in my younger brother’s bed (who was asleep) and woke him up during the process. He woke up and asked me some very obnoxious questions which I can’t even remember. He then woke me up after my mending 5-minute sleep and I got so pissed off that I took the closest pen and penetrated the bathroom’s door with it. I started yelling at my fellow shiggaz which were scantily clad and about to shed more clothes. I told them they had traumatized my brother (which wasn’t true at all since he’s the one pulling the weirdest shiz all the time).

The night ended up in confusion and a missed sex opportunity for St-Lawrence. As for Terrine and I, we had the worst sleep of our lives and I think I was still drunk 26 hours later when I picked my parents up at the airport.