St-Lawrence: On the Pursuit of Happiness

Let me all introduce myself to you folks. As you may all know by now… Yes, I’m the famous St-Lawrence and this is my first (hope not last) post on the blog!

About me, Rodzilla would describe me as a straight-crazy-mothafucka… Terrine as the Barney ‘Legendary’ Stinson…and Fabulous Andy as… well… you should ask her! According to myself, I love to quote Big Bank Hank from the late ‘70s rap group The Sugarhill Gang in the song Rapper’s Delight in order to describe myself: ‘’Yeah I’m six-foot one and tons of fun’’. I look like that typical hetero, the guy that doesn’t-really-want-to-be-in-a-committed-relationship-but-sometimes-had-to-in-order-to-have-sex-but-thank-god-they-didn’t-last-long. Don’t worry faithful followers; I’m not here to complain about my shitty past relationships, nor my shitty past sex partners (well I might mention some of them some time…).

My real reason of being in this blog would be more to talk to you about what is going on in my life, or what I call my pursuit of happiness. You see, even if I may look like one of those Lynx football players built-like-a-train-nothin’-in-tha-brain, because I wasn’t made in the same thin cake pan as our friend Rodzilla (nice pâté BTW single dude), I surely don’t look the same from the inside. I can say I’m smart because I always had good report cards or because I have opinions, but I’d rather say I’m smart because I can wisely manage my emotions. I know how to use them and I don’t always hide them as normal, so-proud-to-be heteros. I’m not saying that you will see me crying because I scratched my knee or nail or such (I still have my pride)… I just know how to be compassionate, sincere and respectful to others.

My pursuit of happiness is about seizing opportunities and enjoying life as much as I can. It is also about having a career and earning a good bread for a living. Besides, it’s about women, the ones that had and will stop by my way and the one that will go along with. Nonetheless, the most important thing is about my friends and what they bring to me. My friendships have always been my real relationships; they are the only ones that last, that I really cared about and that I really wanted to keep. I love my friends and I’m loyal to them. And this is especially true about my three bloggies-homies. It may not have been a long time since I know them, but believe me; you want them in your life, no doubt about it.

So to y’all assholes of the world, if you want a piece of ass from horny Rodzilla, femme-fatale Terrine or bootylicious Fabulous Andy… be nice guyz… ‘cuz da crew now has a dog… St-Lawrence is in da house mothafucka!!!… and I might bark very little but I know how to bite.

Rodzilla: Big Machete

'Ight guys this is the trailer of the dazzling film "Machete" directed by my father Robert Rodriguez (just kidding). It is awesome! Fabulous Andy, St-Lawrence, Terrine and I watched it last friday night when we did a sort of Pajama Party at St-Lawrence's. In fact, I should say that only Fabulous Andy and I watched it 'cuz Terrine and St-Lawrence fell asleep and didn't watch any of it lolz! Hope you'll enjoy, don't forget to take a sneek peak at Jessica Alaba and Michelle Rodriguez' pâtés. Me gusta Western Spaghettis!

Rodzilla: Drag Behaviour

I dated a drag queen last February.

You know how it goes with relationships, you never really know neither what’s happening nor what is about to happen but I think nothing can be more miscellaneous and hazardous than my relationship with that Drag Queen lol!

Her/his name is inspired by his/her native Caribbean island which is the same than Rihanna (Barbados); so let's call that Drag Queen "La Isla Bonita". So everything started when I attended a show at Le Cabaret Mado last February. He/she spotted me in the crowd and went dancing with me and we chatted. He/she/it seemed interested and aroused by me. I felt very flattered and thought about the same regarding him since he/she had a very edible pâté and a Nutella skin tone. Aside from Nutella Versace, Nutella turns me on.

So we sort of flirted and I went to one of his parties (I think I already told you previously). Naïve as I am, I believed we could take that soon-to-be relationship to the next level as he/she had an undergraduate diploma, a full-time job and seemed to be quite serious for a Drag Queen. I asked him/her out next week after the party and he/she completely ditched me. I was mad. He/she then texted me and excused him/herself for the inconvenience. I was still upset so I just told him I was going to Vancouver and Seattle the same week so we wouldn’t meet before at least two weeks or so.

He/she never called me back and to be honest, neither did I. I was just too upset about having been ignored so gnarly. I felt like it was his/her turn to contact me. This of course, never happened so we ended up never talking to each other from then until yesterday night! Yup lol, we finally saw each other again. Actually it wasn’t even intentional ‘cuz we had gone to the Cabaret just to have a blast since Fabulous Andy had a friend of hers dancing in the “So We Think We Can Dance” Drag cover. What’s just weird is that “La Isla Bonita” acknowledged my presence in the audience and greeted me during the show, went to chat with me (though very quickly) after it and seemed to be almost glad to see me.

What’s so awkward is that he/she/it then left the stage and dance floor to go hide backstage. I then saw him/her/it again as he/she was leaving and he/she totally ignored me and almost looked repentant speaking with me twice in one evening. From now on, I added a rule to my “Misfortune Dating Guide” which goes as follows: “Thou shalt not date nor copulate with a Drag Queen, ye ol’ Stick shalt keep asleep when in presence of they”.

That’s all for now folks, hope you enjoyed the article. I need to mention though that I do not dislike Drag Queens; they’re very entertaining and shit but when it comes to a serious date or potential boyfriend, things get fucked up and I’m never sure of how to act with them: they’re big Drama Queens. The only Drag Queens that seem datable would be RuPaul and NYC’s Hedda Lettuce.