Rodzilla: Best Interview Ever!

As I was surfing http://www.youtube.com/ the other day, I happened to find an incredibly meaningful interview: our two favourite crazy whores, Janice Dickinson and Chelsea Handler! Mon Dieu! Can you believe the two best alive authors have met each other! I guess this is the first time it happens since Verlaine hooked up with Rimbaud!!!

Rodzilla: Blond Crush

OMFG!!! For you out there who have never watched 90210 (me included), I oughta tell y'all that the hunky und sehr sexy Trevor Donovan is scheduled to make his coming out in the program! Of course, this means his "Teddy" character will cum out, not him! But who knows, this might just be the beginning of gay fantasies for M. Donovan. So if you feel like watching the show will be boring (they're up to Season 3) but want to see this german sheppard hook up with some other tasty jocks, log on to http://www.megavideo.com/ and watch the episodes where he is supposed to have gay-meets! If you want my advice, go on http://www.wikipedia.org/ to read about each episode to make sure you only watch the ones where he'll hook up; you wouldn't want to bore the shit outta yoself watching some teenage drama à la AnnaLynne McCord! I wish you plenty of visual effects and drooling. I'll end up once again with beauty by posting "une photo délicieuse" of M. Don-Oh-van:

Terrine: I'm Not That Boring U Cunt!

My message has one and only goal... which is to prove to Rodzilla that I'm not that boring!

By the way, I had 6 one night stands too Rodzilla! And I had a few two or three night-stands too. So maybe you should take back what you said in your previous message!!!

And to prove you that I 'm not boring, I am going to tell you a story that I NEVER told you...

Once upon a time... In fact, it happened something like six months ago, during the cold winter of Montreal. I was out to go clubbing downtown with a bunch of girls and some of their friends.  Even if I was in my hometown, I barely knew only a few girls of the gang that night and I found them a little boring, as one of them was too drunk to realize I was there and another one was stiff just as usual.  (Nothing special to that point!)

But some of the girls which I didn't even know seemed quite nice and that is how I started to hang out with them.  One of the girls, let's call her Vanessa (I don't remember her real name), introduced me to one of her friend, Francis, a guy who looked bored just like me.  I think we exchanged like 2 sentences, and he asked me if I'd like to go dancing with him.  And of course, I said yes...

So we went on the crowded dance floor and I had such a surprise: the guy was quite a dancer!  He was moving just right and dancing with him was such a great experience.  He was holding me very close to him, tight but not too much.  He followed the rhythm perfectly and all I had to do was to follow his body.  If I could have an orgasm just because of dancing, I would have had a huuuuge and wet one (lol).... a danceGASM.

While we were dancing so perfectly, we began to kiss me, just as he was dancing.  Then he lifted the hand he held my ass with, to put it back down, in my pants and really grabbed my ass with it.  But I didn't care, everything was so sexually-perfect.

Then he moved his hand in my pants and went in for the front area... and then he started to play with his fingers.  It was so intense... I completely lost connection with the real world, so I just don't know if anyone had realized what we were doing.  And while he was masturbating me, I put my hand into his pants too, to play with his dick!  And he had such a dick... so bad I didn't end up the night with him!!! And all of this because one of my friend (that is no longer my friend) was sleeping at my home and I had a little respect for her... I didn't want her to go back all alone or to have a very bad night because she would have heard my scream all night long while having HOT SEX in the room next to her!

I wish, I'll meet him again...

(IS THIS BORING RODZILLA?)

Fabulous Andy: In Da Club 2

Miss Fab has been partying quite a lot in the past few days. You guys can't say I don't provide appropriate research for my articles.

I hurt my arm last week. (No, I wasn't drunk, I slipped during my dance practice.) That didn't stop me from going out with school buddies, however, and having a hell of a good time. Journalism students might be very unsexy, but boy, do they drink! All of a sudden, a drunken nerdy girl in my program started - ahem -"dancing" (actually, she was trying to move her hips in a sexy way) with the BIGGEST crush I've ever had.

Let me explain.

I was nine years old when I saw him for the first time. He was in my class in elementary school and I thought - and still think - he was gorgeous. I used to be an almost-mute little girl, so never did I dare talk to him. For the next two years, I would shyly stare at him from far away at recess and hope he would invite me to dance each time we had an elementary school disco party. I finally realized that nothing would happen between us when we went in different high schools.

Now, he's part of the communications department at my university AND he was dancing with a trashed nerdy whore?! In all my drunkiness, I thought that was insane.

The next evening, I went out with Cherry and her cousin to go man-hunting. After too many tequila shots, we hit the dancefloor. I thought one of the bouncers look just like one of the hot managers at the resto-bar where I work, so I danced whorily and without mercy. Instead of looking at me, he was too busy taking care of the promotion chicks.

Clubs sometimes have really corny themes. That night, a bunch of girls were dressed as angels and devils. I get good ol' God must have had a heart attack when he saw how ugly they were. Plus, they weren't even dancing!

I ended the night playing bootilicious with this aggressive asshole. He was a lot of fun dancing with, but kept on trying to choke me. Tired of feeling molested, I slapped him at one point and told him to calm down, which he did.

I deleted his phone number five minutes later.

The next night, after having laughed/screamed/carried beer pitchers all evening because of multiple bachelors' and bachelorettes' parties at work, I went to Rodzilla's house where he was hosting a party. The ONLY hot guy, it appeared, had a girlfriend.

Too bad, I thought. I would've definitely intensified the constant grin he had on his face if he hadn't had the "other" glued to him the whole time.

Time to sleep, guys. I wish y'all a good night and stay tuned for more raunchiness next weekend...

Rodzilla: Online SexHOPPING

Yeah, yeah, you thinking the bro' ain't got enuff dough?! No, No. I've got plenty of clothes and pumps to put on but hey, you ain't neva got enough!!

I've always HATED shopping in malls and family-targeted outlets 'cuz guess what? It's just plain unoriginal and tired. I used to go shopping with Terrine very often and I really need to say she's exhaustive! Sincerely, take note that she is one hell of a crazy shopper and that she spends all of her money. She's also very freak-o about what to wear and stuff. She's like a 40 year-old mom (like mine); what I mean by that is she wants to know your opinion but will NEVER agree with you. Once you've told her what you think, she'll try to convince you that what she wants is better. And this toward clothes that will belong and be worn by her!! I like looking at my friends and feeling that they're hot and that I'm glad to know'em but hey, I won't throw a bitch fight 'cuz a sista doesn't wanna wear what I'd like her to wear!

As for me, I need clothes that scream my favourite word : SEX. I also need distinguishable apparel 'cuz I'm simply a fierce mothafucka. Boutique and window shopping is so '98. Nowadays it's the internet that has revolutionized our way to consume and spend our money. I really want to bring your attention to the newly updated http://www.ebay.com/ website that now hosts a section dedicated to Fashion plus a Fashion Blog. How extraordinaire?! I'd say that I'm Dangerously In Love like Beyoncé but in this case, not with Jay-Z. But Queen B had a strong hint then : Rappers know how to sell clothes, perfumes, cars, video games and SEX.

That's why I'm looking forward to buying a t-shirt that has a sexy rapper like Snoop Doggy Dogg on it or any kind of street-cred credited bastard. I need to tell you that Fabulous Andy told me she had sex listening to some Drake!!! Isn't that incredibly funny?! She happened to be making out with a guy who had befriended ex-Degrassi Drake in his early teens in Toronto. I was so drunk when she told me that I fell on the floor laughing my ass off!!

Let's  not get too far from our main focus: Internet Product Purchases. I basically had the call to tell you my passion for it and how it revolutionized my life (and my bank account). I'll end up with french beauty telling y'all: "Achetez tout ce que vous désirez, lisez notre blogue et faites comme nous: FOURREZ"!!!

Rodzilla: Are We Sluts?

The main subject of my questioning since the last few months.

I think I’m the kind of person who always reminisces about everything he does; especially when it comes to sex. Accordingly, I’m so horny that sometimes I’d be willing to give up on anyone having minimal junk in the trunk. I’m a man, you gotta excuse my manners but when the testosterone bursts, there’s nothing I can do to help it; I gotta live my bestiality with another beast.

When I feel like having sex, I usually take the train #1 which consists of one night-stands. I know this sounds very unclassy and even plain pathetic but for me, sex partners are like Kleenexes; you’d use’em just to wipe away your stickiest shortcomings. I guess I’m totally not old-fashioned and prefer not having to wake up with the rat bastard the day after or the day after after. Fabulous Andy, Terrine and I have all had one night-stands but I think Fabulous Andy and I are the worst, let’s just say we’re more fabulous.

I can’t say that I regret sleeping with strangers but there are times when I keep asking myself the same question than Carrie from Sex and The City : Are We Sluts? Some people would say yes, some others would say no, but one thing is for sure: you can call me ho! Haha, let’s not have any shame here! It’s our blog, it’s meant to be hot ‘N humid just like the Caribbean haven both of my female colleagues have down south.

Being a real whore would imply charging your partners for your services which we don’t. Therefore, I think this might be an acknowledgeable sign that we are not prostitutes. I made the countdown and officially slept with 6 men (I’m 20), Fabulous Andy did the same and I think it was 12 (twice my worryness) and as for Terrine, it was something like 4 or 5, how disappointing? We can all agree by the numbers that Terrine is the most boring and needs to get some piece of ass more often!

I think I’ll have to go for now, I’m way too busy searching for meat, studying, working and trying to get some sleep once in a while! But I think I’ll sum it up saying we might be whores but I don’t think there’s anything bad about it, Dankjewel!

Fabulous Andy: In Da Club

I enjoy going clubbing.

It's even nicer when you're underage. I remember going to my first bar when I was 16. Dude, did I feel powerful going by the doorman without showing my cards! My friend and I drank like everyone else, but ended the night watching stupid teenage movies and eating gummy bears at her place. There's nothing like gummy bears to remind you how immature you still are.

For those puritain readers living in the States, the drinking age is 18 here, so come on down and call me (ha, ha)! Unless Harper abolishes the gun registration, you may not bring your weapons, though.

So I started actual clubbing at the age of 17. Older friends had taught me about the proper attire and the proper men one should dance with. Proper men, however, are not part of my vocabulary, I soon found out. Good guys don't dance well because they're too shy. (Same thing goes for Germans. They've never learned to use their hips!) I had a lot of fun with black dudes and latino guys I would've never presented to my parents. Y'all had them tattoos, shaggy clothes 'n bandanas, y'know. Shiggas.

Shiggas were part of my world for a little while. Grinding was fun, but exchanging phone numbers became a bit too intimate. A relationship CANNOT start while grinding with hip-hop music blasting in one's ears. I tried, and the dude ended up in fact being eleven years older than I was.

Some guys are worth just having a very brief relationship with. Others would make good husbands... for my neighbor. It's one or the other. Bad-ass or goody-two-shoes. Aren't there any compromises in Montreal? Fun guys, good-looking if possible, who don't carry knives in their pockets, who would have a slightly more extended vocabulary than "yo" or "chill"?

That's what we'll see in my next blog post. I have a busy weekend ahead, filled with parties. I'll let you guys know what kind of fishies are in those oceans.

Terrine: End of the Discussion.

Recently, I had dinner with my mother who asked me if I had some news about my ex-boyfriend?!?!?

I was like: Why would I?  Don't you remember he stopped talking to me and flushed me of Facebook because I had dumped him?

And then she was like: Yes, but I thought that maybe, even if he had stopped talking to you for a while, he would have given you some of his news.

And I said: No!

Here's a thing I don't understand about motherS.  When you are with a guy, they totally hate him!  But then, when it is over, they miss him so much and they keep telling you about how much of a good guy he was.

And this is the part where I say: Yeahh, you're right!  He was such a nice guy!  In the end he was a control-freak, and so jealous that another guy couldn't smile at me or be my friend, 'cause it was not normal according to him that I had some masculine friends while I had a boyfriend!  But he was always acting good in front of you, ain't that nice, mom?

End of the discussion!

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Terrine: Small Hands, Small **** (Easy To Guess!)

Sometimes, I wonder who invented the rule about the relationship between the size of a man's hands and the size of his dick.  It's quite funny, but it is definitely true.

I've recently been out with this guy who had such small hands, in fact it was like they were kids' hands on the body of a man... creepy I know.

Now, you may wonder, why did I date this man?

That's a very good question that I keep asking to myself.  The good answer is: I just don't know!  I've never really been into him, and that since the beginning, but the guy really wanted me and he was fitting into my schedule... so in the end I said, why not!? (But now I know WHY NOT!)  

Before I dated this guy, I had heard about the size rule, but you know, this is just the kind of rule you don't really trust and see as a myth...  Until you realize the rule isn't a myth. 

So as you've probably guessed right now, the guy had the smallest dick!... and that is not the worst part.

The worst part is that he didn't know how to use it!  Can you imagine?!?  Some girls say: « The size doesn't matter as long as he knows how to use it »... so with him, size mattered, 'cause he didn't know how to use it!

When I realized all of that, I knew it wouldn't last!... A good relationship must be based on pure love and good SEX!  So I decided that I would do what I do best: I acted like there was no problem, gave him a little few tips, and finally left and broke his heart.

But if you're not good at acting and breaking hearts, watch over for the hands... The BIGGER the BETTER!

Rodzilla: Brand New Chocolate Combo

Geez! Take a look at this: our beloved Mariah (we're Miss Carey's Lambs) and Nicki Minaj in a mouth-watering duo! Loves it ;-)

Fabulous Andy: Boys, Boys and Married Men

I’ve just finished Chelsea Handler’s My Horizontal Life and it is HILARIOUS. She is an actress as well as a stand-up comedian who tells us about her funniest one-night stands. She woke up with a naked dwarf in her bed, she slept with an underage guy, she escaped from a sado-maso dude dressed in leather… I swear she’s worse than me!

I cracked up laughing so many times that I intend to steal all the remaining copies at Chapter’s and give them to everyone I see. This vodka-addicted Chelsea is so funny. Please get this book. It is true inspiration and dedication for the love of sex.

                               *********************************

I started university last week. As usual, there is mostly estrogen in my program. I’m guessing there might be one dick to satisfy eight girls. Oh, I forget: half of them are gay, that that would make one dick for sixteen girls. I’m thinking of popping into my friend’s business classes to drool over the men there. A male student in business is a good shot. I mean, he will make quite some money thanks to his capitalist values and he will wear suits. Nice looking guys in nice suits turn me on so bad, even though they’re forty years old!

What do y’all think about having a relationship with an older man? My 17-year-old colleague recently told me about her married ex. Actually, the dude lied to her for over a year, forcing her to leave early in the morning or seeing her at odd hours because he did not want his daughter to be overwhelmed by his “new relationship”. What an asshole! One night, she noticed a women going to his apartment and asked for an explanation, after what he told her he was still married with the mother of his kid. Hopefully, she left him.

Here’s an example from my own experience: I made out with this guy a few times. He’s in a stable relationship – but has an inexistent sex life APPARENTLY – and has two young kids. He had been flirting with me for a few months before I gave in. I do have moral values sometimes and being responsible for the destruction of a relationship is certainly not something I am keen to do. He was driving me crazy as fuck with his sexual allusions, however, so I started thinking: the dude is a full-grown man. He knows exactly what he’s doing, so if he wants to stick his pickle somewhere else, that’s totally up to him and it is therefore his responsibility to cope with the consequences of the pickle-dipping.

Even though our making out in public washrooms was smoking hot, our “thing” was not going anywhere. I wanted sex really bad at that point and he was not giving it to me. “I’m sorry I can’t tonight. It is complicated for me, you know,” he would say. Unfortunately for him, my dildo was getting boring, so I told him our one-night stand would probably never happen anyways and decided to get it going with someone else who would actually give me what I wanted. Too bad, DOUCHEBAG.

Committed men are strange cases. They crave the adrenaline they get from secret relationships, but freak out when the truth might come out and destroy their peaceful family life. Girls – or guys – who are dealing with this must always remember that the dude will never leave his stability. Unfortunately, you will be doomed to stay secret. Even though you give the best blow-jobs, he will always put you second in his priorities, so take advantage of him and turn him down! He’ll be masturbating for the rest of his miserable life, dreaming about all the fun he could’ve had with you.

Cherry: The Last One Popped

Ladies and germs, allow me to introduce myself: Cherry.

Let me start by telling you who I'm not.

Yes, I have only ever had sex with one man ( Cherry Popper), maybe he is my soul mate, and yes, he loves to play with my tits in public.

HOWEVER, I am not "Dreamer".

3 differences between us:

Cherry Popper definitely doesn't cum in 30 seconds.

I am not dumb.

I am actually naturally talented and give a hell of a fucking good blow job, thank you very much.

As you can imagine, monogamy does not an interesting sex blog make. But I'm going to pull a couple of old stories out of my hat for you guys.

And grace you with these lovely stories as a guest from time to time.

For now, I have some advice coming from 2 years of monogamy:

-The right bra will get his attention, a good kiss will get him interested, great sex will make him like you, but a 45 minute blow job: that is love.

-Shove something up his ass. Trust me. He'll love it. This probably doesn't apply for one night stands though. Not that I would know.

Any man that is "too manly" enough for that ain't no man, man.

-You're very naive if you think he'll have sex only in the dark for more then... 2 weeks. He won't give up his porn, and he will stare at the boobs as they walk by. In exchange; you have an excuse to pend 50$ on candles, are still allowed your vibrator, and feel free to stare at other men. Same goes for strip clubs. And anal (see above). Don't deny him freedom, but fair is fair.

That's all for now folks.

Rodzilla, Fabulous Andy and Terrine:

Ladies, start your engines.

Watch out, boys.

Rodzilla: Be A Commander: Get What You Want

Okay, this has to be one of the best danceable songs of last summer and suprisingly, it hasn't been that popular, except for its chart trajectory in Belgium!! Music to your ears: David Guetta and Destiny's ex-Child, Kelly Rowland:

Rodzilla: Lady Gaga's Career, What About It?

I know this might sound a bit bizarre but I've happened to read a comment famed ex-supermodel and whore Janice Dickinson has said on Lady Gaga which caught my attention and raised my eyebrows. According to J-Dick, Lady Gaga's music would be "like elevator music, as far as I'm concerned. All the gays are looking for something new. She's history!". Do you really believe Lady Gaga could already be history?! At such a young age? I guess that as for now, Janice will always be way more of a has-been than Lady Gaga! Let's just point it out this way: she's 55 and hasn't modeled for years while Gaga is 24 and had multiple record-breaking hits and (sexy and fashionable) music videos.

  

The always classy, Janice Dickinson

Rodzilla: Male Models or Sport Hunks?

Once again, you probably noticed by the title that this article will be of vital concern. Indeed, everybody (who’s anybody) who’s attracted by men MUST read this article.

Over the course of the last years, I’ve had the very pleasurable opportunity to fantasize and to make my fantasies cum to life, which is definitively something everybody wishes.

After wondering about my physical attractions, I always kept running into the same question: would it be hotter to fuck this flawless male model (and have sweet ‘N smooth sex) or to mate with this marvellously sexy and rough Sport hunk? Do you guys prefer a dude that’s more effeminate or more masculine? I know, it sounds a bit phoney and awkward because this leads once again to the awe question that is top or bottom.

Well, Entschuldigen Sie but I had to ask. I am very curious and LOVE to hear all sorts of crispy stories. If you want my opinion on the latter, I’d say it depends on my mood; sometimes I’m feeling so raw ‘N rough that I’d love to bump into this twinky lil’ nice ass and hurl like a bear. Some other times, I might just tend to be a bit more submissive and would love to be tickled by a hunky jock’s pickle. You have to accept your cravings and feed your libidough.

Furthermore, my will to entertain and delight your eyes will not stop here; just take a look at the hot men I posted below:

Chad White (a Dolce und Gabbana model, my all-time favourite)

Tom Brady (Gisele Bündchen’s lucky husband)

Rodzilla: Varennes = NO NO

This is a rest from last night's frustration. Okay so I had told you about the incredibly jerky dude called Vincent. But now lemme tell you the most utterly obnoxious shit: after the "princess" insulted me, I really wanted to leave, like right away. And then my two "friends", female friends - which do not include Terrine - wanted me to lift them up to Varennes! Excuse me?! Varennnes?! NO WAY JOSE! In case you're not from Montreal or have neva been thurr, go on google map and type Varennes, QC. You'll soon see what kind of a crapsack it is!!!

Do I look like a taxi driver?! I guess no because A) I'm not an immigrant and B) I DO have a driving license. Therefore, I wouldn't give them a lift, especially since the fucker Vincent was coming along with them! Anyways, I had to talk you into that. But by the way, it doesn't mean I never give lifts to people; I'm a member of Amigo Express but Varennes will always be a NO-NO.

Rodzilla: Solidarity, Maybe?!

Okay, I’m writing this up to you because I need to empty my heart from what happened to me last night, or should I say, this morning since it was so “late”. Listen very carefully as this is of very importance level.

As Terrine and I proceeded to getting to a shitty party that I had been invited to, I told her I wasn’t sure I still wanted to go but had people HARASSING me to come. Therefore, we went even though.

We arrived there and it was crowded and messy and my “friends” were already way-too-tipsy. I met this new gay dude called Vincent – I need to put his real name on here ‘cause I’m so full of hate now – which seemed quite nice at the beginning of our night. Like any other mundane party, it wasn’t that exciting; people were all about to puke their guts out, girls were acting whorily, boys were acting douchey. It was crap, literally.

Having the same liver capacity as Asians for alcohol consumption, I was way-too-tipsy very quick. I started dancing and frolicking and liked it a lot. It was so hot and nasty inside that place that we decided to go outside to take some fresh air. And that’s where the inevitable happened: the seemingly nice dude called Vincent started to insult me like a real cunt, apparently taking benefit out of my tipsiness. By insulting I mean he started to show off like a real princess and act as if I were just a loser while this asshole seemed to be after me all along before. He then proved to be even worse: a name-it-diva; he started to tell me that he was so over the gay village because it was “just for desperate horny biotches” and that he didn’t need anything like it because he had a boyfriend and another guypal crazy about him. He pushed it even further by mentioning the fact that Mister Oh-so-Fabulous was studying Physics at McGill. What kinda mothafucka is that?!

I was very shocked and stunned; I couldn’t understand what I coulda done that made him feel so insecure and cocky. While all of this boring monologue was being dictated, I was so confused and agitated I could barely pull a word out, which made me feel so angry afterwards. The douche even ended his monologue by telling me he found himself way more masculine than me!!! Can you annoy me and piss me off a bit more?! I don’t think so!

Thus, the big question here is: why are most gays so reluctant and bitchy towards other gays? Haven’t we all been prosecuted and laughed at before? So why would we want to do that to our buddies once again? Between our own community?!! That’s sado-maso and sad, it’s all I can say.

In fact, The dude pumped me up so much I started feeling like Mike Tyson and thought I was about to punch him real hard. Luckily, I’ve been gentlemanly enough to shut up, pull my thoughts together and LEAVE. If that blog weren't intended to be anonymous, I would’ve posted pics of myself and pics of him so that you guys could compare, but trust me: I was worth a billion more than him.

Rodzilla: Boats 'N Hoes

Mein Gott! That's über-funny! A weird and anoying friend of Terrine showed that to me while she was taking a break from his presence and led me alone with him! What a mean gal.

Rodzilla: Such a Shy'm that this song isn't that popular yet!

Je sais, this song was released this summer but hey, I love it! I watched the clip for the first time when I was in the south of France last july. Loves it! Any thoughts?

Rodzilla: Stay The Night

Main topic here: after having some good ol’ canoodle on a one-night-stand, would you accept to spend the rest of the night with that person? I’ve been wondering about the question since about a year now. Everything started when I had this very nice “one night” and since I’m very old-fashioned and have the same physical capacity of a grandpa, right after it was done, I felt like running back home and having a restful 12-hour sleep to cope from my performance.

But the thing is this : even if we hadn’t known each other for more than 3 hours, he kept whining for me to accompany him all night long. I felt very flattered but I truly didn’t feel like it. We finally called it quit and I’ve been able to pull it through, head back home and mend lol!

I wouldn’t say I would never stay the night on a one-night-stand but I think this is definitely not something you should dare to do! Especially since the mere action standing by itself is already risqué ya know?! I have never done it yet but I don’t even look forward to doing it; I mean that person mighta just been a “buck fuck” and may not even have enough potential material to become a fuckfriend!

So what do you think? Would you really be willing to transform the “one night” into a whole night?

Rodzilla: Eben so schön!

OMG like I know this movie ain't that recent but hey, Fabulous Andy, Terrine and I LOVE that movie!!! It has to be one of the best comedies ever. I needed to share because hey, that's my community and I need to represent it not resent it. This particular scene is definitely the all-time best; I mean could there be a more memorable quote than "Pitcher in the streets, Catcher in the sheets" with all the tongue action involved in his über-sexy pronunciation?! Another Gay Movie, another gay memorabilia.

Rodzilla: When Old Fantasies Cum True...

First of all, lemme start my article by asking you if you noticed the very evident sexual innuendo I just made in the title? Well, that's very me, I know the three of us (Terrine, Fabulous Andy and I) might sound extremely naughty but in fact, we are and that's what makes us so wonderful.

Okay so this time I'll try not to be so long and exhaustive, let me talk y'all into my shit: Old Fantasies. Yep, that is correct, sex fantasies, whether they're cheesy, spooky or violent, regardless of their nature, they have to be! Just ask Fabulous Andy about it 'sti! She now knows way too well that without a sex life in the bedroom, nothing's going to go anywhere. That is why I have the ultimate best piece of advice: don't repeal your fantasies, make them cum alive, literally.

Remember that obsession you had on that guy in High School (who had the nicest ass you've ever seen), God knows (and accepts) the fact that you would be willing to give away your two kidneys just to fuck him. Well for Christ’s sakes, y'all need to listen to some old-school Mariah Carey hits like "Make It Happen"! Remind yourself of the line where she says "you can make it, make it happen", well that's exactly what I want you to do! Force yourself into it and never even think of the eventuality of regrets. You shouldn't have any; regrets are for losers, real people would always be willing to rebuild New Orleans for the umpteenth time. Your sex life is just like the land under Louisiana’s metropolis; it can sink below sea level at any given time! Neva take it for granted sistaz! Therefore, will you please raise your fucking skirt! This is mainly the opposite of what Janice Dickinson (the self-proclaimed World’s first supermodel) would say and I know that, but I think skirts are like standards; they’re meant to be high.

Basically, I wanted to write this column for all the boring bitches living in Nebraska, Oklahoma, ARKANSAS and Alabama who’ll pass their whole lives seeking for a stinking smelly bastard, JC Penney, creationism and apple pies à la mode (btw that’s the correct way to write à la mode, take notes). I want all of you to please, pretty please, cum to reality: we’re in 2010, gays are (supposedly) not  prosecuted anymore, blacks have the same rights as whites, the earth is polluted, straight men don’t go to university anymore and women are becoming more and more powerful. So will you ever understand it and take benefit out of it?!

Rodzilla: Bel Ami?! Who Wouldn't Want A "bel ami"?!

Like the title implies, the matter here is of very important concern : Bel Ami Online. Yes, you read well, I will once again talk to you into porn. I think Porn can be all at the same time; fabulous, sexy, skanky, crassy, trashy, whory and yet, classy and artsy. Somehow I do believe Bel Ami is part of the latter; the videos and photography displayed out there are quite pretty and artsy if you allow me. I like most of the models, especially the very sexy and delicious Dolph Lambert, Kris Evans and of course, Erik Bouna which looks a lot like Terrine's younger brother. Ooops! Did I just write that? Scratch that! Nonetheless I do want to warn you another time against porno addiction; Bel Ami is easily the most attractive website on the internet, watch out!

http://tour.belamionline.com/tour.aspx 

Terrine: Bad Movie, Good Date!

I'm glad Rodzilla brought up the "Piranha 3D" subject!... It reminds me of one date I had lately...

I went out with this guy I had a crush on to the "cinéparc" to watch "Piranha 3D" and I can tell you with no doubt that even if the movie was really bad... the date was really good.

And if you think about it for a minute, it's totally logical.

If the movie is bad, you have no reason to watch it, so you can do plenty of other (or hotter) interesting things during the film.  And at the end of the date, both of you can agree on two things: First, on the fact that the movie was no good at all, and second on the fact that, however, you had a great time.

So I hope Rodzilla is going to continue to suggest us bad movies, 'cause they are definitely good opportunities!

Rodzilla: Pirahna 3D Official Trailer

Terrine, Fabulous Andy and I were just so pleased to see this incredibly hum good movie last week that I felt like making some free promotion for it. The film is honestly a B-movie but I think B is the new A+ and in this case it totally works. I guess the main goal of the movie is probably the same as any other "horror" movie of this genre whereas "Friday 13th", "A Nightmare on Elm Street", "Chucky Doll" all had the same kind of vibe and audience; young effervescent teenagers ;-)! Hope you enjoy!

Oh by the way the only thing that tickled us is the fact that they employed Montreal-based staff and that they haven't paid them yet, screw them!!! Let's sympathize with our fellas from tha hood.

Rodzilla: Dolce & Gabbana to Celebrate Naomi's career = MARVELOUS

The famed italian gay couple that once was Dolce & Gabbana will celebrate Naomi Campbell's fashion career's 25th anniversary. How amazing! Can you believe she's now 40 years old?! She doesn't look that old fo' sho' mothafuckas, she's still a hot mama who knows how to get men and... trouble!!! You just have to think of all the crap she's been involved in: cell throwing, community service, court, BLOOD DIAMONDS, TYRA BANKS, P. Diddy and so much more! I think just Tyra Banks and P. Diddy alone are worse than Blood Diamonds haha! Don't you agree?!

Anyways y'all, let's not get too far from the subject here: Dolce und Gabbana's Naomi Campbell t-shirts. The über-heiß brand will be releasing a limited edition of collectable t-shirts. The release will include 14 different t-shirts showcasing Miss Campbell's body abilities and thigh muscles. The photos that will be used for the tees will be coming from the work of the world's most notorious fashion photographers such as Patrick Demarchelier, David LaChapelle, Mario Testino, Elle von Unwerth und so weiter (meaning etc. in german).

The sales of those babies-to-be will start on September 10th in Dolce und Gabbana's New York boutiques. Don't miss'em! We certainly won't (especially me!). I don't know for Fabulous Andy or Terrine but as for myself, I love to wear sexy folks on my t-shirts which always provides me with attention and potential dates!

As a delight for the eyes : a look at Naomi's freshly baked pâté

Rodzilla: Biggest penis or biggest spoof?!

OMFG! Can you believe I have HAPPENED to find something that obnoxious on the web?! Well, the answer is yes and it has to be a spoof 'cuz I think no one could handle that panhandle! I do believe it's a spoof because that could almost not be possible for a man to have that much of a big blood vessel-filled organ! Anyways, I still have some hopeful doubts...! I'd like to know what you guys think of that?! Is anyone dumb whore-ny enough to really believe that this dude has a real cock that huge?!

Definitely mouth-watering lolz!

Fabulous Andy: A New Start in our Supersex World

Definitely the "Emancipation of Andy".

I've been too calm in the past year, dragging on a platonic long-term relationship - my first one in fact - and being sex-deprived. In fact, I've been more intimate with my dildo than with the dude. It's a cute purple plastic penis-shaped toy, but nothing beats a man. NOTHING.

I finally dumped the guy and have been having a hell of a good time ever since. The word "no" should never come from a man's mouth when asked if he wants to get laid. Never mind sexism. Men live to fuck and be fucked. That's the end of it.

And I do fuck like a man, according to Carrie in the "Sex and the City"'s first episode. I rarely get emotional about it. No "he-took-my-virginity-he-must-be-the-one" kind of bullshit, the kind of stupidities my childhood friend, who will be called "Dreamer" for the purpose of this blog, believes in.

I mean, she will let him do anything to her as long and he's content and happy. She lets him touch her tits in public or he constantly tells my friends and I how nicely she sucks his dick. The mere thought of the guy naked makes me want to puke. Besides, cuming in her mouth after thirty seconds is a sign of premature ejaculation, not of her "natural talent" for blow-jobs.

Let's cut this short for now and try to finish this article with class instead of raunchiness.

I swear I will tell you everything about my funniest one-night stands, may they be good or bad. Hopefully, you guys will have a good life and continue on with normality.

Now, I have to go searching for writing material in the Montreal suburbs. Ciao!

Rodzilla: Kylie's new video y'all!!!

I hope everybody who'll cum (oops) on our blog will be Kylie lovers because we do love her lots! Check out her brand new video, "Get Outta My Way".


How classy and fashionista?!


Kylie - Get Outta My Way from ileaks on Vimeo.

Rdozilla: Sweet or creepy?

Would you really want his "zizi"?!

Rodzilla: Danske invasion

Hi there! I've become so crazy about Scandinavian culture over the last few years and since I finally had the chance to travel across Denmark and Sweden last summer, I realized that it was something that really appealed to me. According to what I had heard of their films and music before, I felt so intrigued that I started to inform myself about it hence increasing my interest for it. Through that process I discovered the very interesting duo that consists Svenstrup & Vendelboe. I will then let you unravel "Ensom" a song by Medina that they have remixed.

Your impressions and comments are welcome!

Rodzilla: The Funniest Short Film ever!!!

Hey guys! I just saw this 10-minute court-métrage on Youtube and felt like sharing! How hilarious?! This is my type of movie! Lol

It's called "The Horribly Slow Murderer with the Extremely Ineffecient Weapon" by Richard Gale, hope you enjoy!

Rodzilla: "Cybersex: cyberyes or cyberno?"

Nowadays, in 2010, we are undeniably surrounded by internet and all modern services that come along with it. You just have to think of all the interesting stuff that it carries: shopping deals, online messaging, online chat, BLOGGING, online bank accounts, travel bookings, and the list goes on and on. One thing that’s very dear to the internet is, of course : PORN.

Let’s face it: nothing’s better than online porn; it can be free if you only watch free trailers (which I always do) plus you can download sizzlin’ hot photos on Google. The thing is, it comes with a catch: it can become very addictive very quickly! Back when I was 15, I couldn’t help but watch porn for two consecutive hours! Imagine! Every day after coming back from my boring private high school I would sit down at my computer and surf the web to delight my incredibly vivid and naughty mind. I have to say it did it for me; it made me bloom like a flower.

Anyway, I didn’t want to extrapolate to long on the matter so I’ll bump straight ahead to the real concern here : Cybersex. What do you think about it? To be honest, I’ve already tried it. By that I mean that I did register to some sort of crappy and cheesy dating website. I didn’t like having my profile out there knowing that I needed to provide minimal information about myself if I ever wanted to date! The thing is: if you only wanna go for a good fuck, never bother creating and editing a cute lil’ profile. Face it: take it to the curve yo! I mean you should directly go to the chat forum and try to hook up. That’s the way to act in 2010, tain’t no kidding!

Actually, I’ve had hook-ups and dates a few times mainly because of those so-called gay-chats. I’m always worrying and wondering about it! Is it right to do so? Is it not? I really don’t know. I must admit that I used to seek for true love and I really thought I’d meet the charming prince and that everything would be so lovely and perfect. But truth had it on hold for me: I’ll have to wait just like a lot of other people because guess what? It’s impossible to wait as a virgin, find the perfect guy and make it work, you gotta work your ass off to be okay and so does he have to do!

So as I explained to you in details what kind of a whore-ny man I am, I guess you got the picture. But I actually do have morals and concern and I know that being sexually-active (and attractive) with just-met fucks isn’t always safe. TRUST ME. But hey, my mantra is: would you rather live sex-frustrated and have no disease or be emancipated and sex-rejoiced but risk your health? To me, as long as you’re HIV negative, I’d say risk it lol! Use a condom and a bit of your knowledge (if you ever have any) and try to make it work out for you. By that I mean, watch out and work out! You need to be toned’N’hot.

In fact, I’d like to know what people think about Cybersex? Is it okay, is it abnormal? Amoral? Adorable?! Let me know!

Terrine: The "Z Case"

I'm a person who likes to give advice.

My first one would be... Always be over him.

No matter what happens you should always seem like you don't care... 'cause once you start to care... he stops.  AND you do want him to care!!!

For example, I recently was with this dude whose name starts with a Z, let's call him the "Z Case"!  At first, when we started to see each other, I didn't care.  When we were out together, I used to dance with other men, which really pissed him off... in fact he looked jealous.  And then, when he told me he considered me as his girlfriend, I answered maybe.

But then, it started to get serious... and the trouble began.  I told him I loved him... such a big mistake!  He was no more returning my calls, he started to be a late-replyer at text-messages and he even cancelled one of our dates.  That was so much more than I could take!  

So then, I did just the same.  I told him I was too busy to see him, I stopped answering to his text-messages and I even said I didn't care about the fact I had no more time to see him.  Now, my cell can't stop ringing because of him.

So believe me ladies when I say you should always seem like you don't care.

First, start by taking the word emotion off of your vocabulary... you need no emotion! :P