Rodzilla: Danish Pastry II

There are a few things that went bananas during my five-day trip to Copenhagen; starting with the sauna, then I wanted to feed my growing appetite for sex (not for food, trust me; everything was expensive and plain) so I thought of another way to fulfill it.

That was pretty much the worst idea of my life; I went out taking a walk at midnight at ørstedsparken, a notable park for its gay scene. I was walking quite peacefully when I realized that a creepy fuck was following me since a few minutes, I got nervous and as I terribly needed to pee, I thought it would be bright to go lock myself in the park’s public restrooms to evacuate while he’d get lost.

Agrandir le plan

Gosh was I dumb to think so! He followed me to these secluded dark washrooms and stayed in while I tried to do a number one. I was so scared that he was a murderer or just some sort of mentally-ill creep with a fixed idea of getting me as dinner. I couldn’t pee and didn’t want to wait too long as I was getting more and more stressed out about the whole situation so I got out of the john real quick, ran outside and left the park in a hurry. No misfortune happened and I’m so thankful! Just imagine having to deal with some sort of crap like that while traveling by yourself in a foreign country without anyone you know!

On my last day in Denmark, I went at a local café to lunch and rest, and met this cute local Danish boy called Kristian. I found him very attractive with his blond hair, light blue eyes, summer tan, cold Danish attitude, square jaw and rough accent. I chatted with him for almost an hour and had a good time. Before walking out, I handed him my email address and so did he with his. I told him we could be pen pals so that next time I’d go to Denmark, I could save my pesos. I then once again naïvely thought something could have happened out of it but nothing materialized.

I need to mention that even if this article sounds like I’m dissing Copenhagen, I quite enjoyed it and felt like it was exotic, special and cool. The city is very pretty and has a lot of historic backgrounds that are rich and rewarding. I particularly enjoyed the harbour, Kastellet, Christianshavn, Kongens Nytorv, the Danish Royal House, Ny Havn, the Vor Frelsers Kirke, Amager Strand Park, the beach in Klampenborg and so much more! My biggest disappointment wasn’t even my misadventures with the Danes themselves (of course not, they’re hot ;-)) but mainly the absence of “The Little Mermaid” statue in the harbour which was in China for the whole length of the Shanghai Expo.

Rodzilla: Danish Pastry

As previously mentioned in one of my September articles, "Danske Invasion", I went to Denmark and Sweden (and other countries) last summer.

First off, I need to tell you how randy I was about going there! It’s been such a long time since I fantasized about visiting the Vikings and their bodies countries :-P! I actually went to Copenhagen and this, on my own since Fabulous Andy didn’t want to accompany me up North as she felt it seemed “excremely boring”. May sound lonesome and boring to some of you, but as for myself, I was über-ecstatic to finally get a piece of Nordic blonds’ ass.

Before I go into intimate details with this story, I need to contextualize the situation I was in when I landed on Copenhagen’s Kastrup Lufthavn’s tarmac: I had stayed on my own in flawless Amsterdam for the last five days and had had Dutch “sightseeing” which eventually led to my burning desire to have raunchy garage sex. I had resisted going out chasing beasts or popping it wild at nearby saunas which left me greedy and thus, needy. While on the plane (at 8h30 fucking AM), I was feeling tired but yet truthfully excited to be about to land in “Northern Sex Haven”.

I arrived in Copenhagen two hours later and the weather was awfully shitty and cold compared to what I had benefited in Amsterdam. Nevertheless, I wasn’t disappointed when looking at hot “Great Danes”. It was more that I could handle and I knew it, that’s why I found the address of a sauna in Copenhagen’s micro-gaybourhood and planned to go there on my very first night. And that’s basically what I did but as naïve and unaware about what gay saunas implied, I simply thought that I could go there to “relax”, shower and bethink myself. The sauna was called the “Amigo Sauna” and is supposedly the most notorious sauna in Copenhagen and in Denmark. Here’s the Google Map link (in case you’re close to there and want to “sneak a peak”):

Agrandir le plan

and their website link: http://www.amigo-sauna.dk/ 

What astonishment was it to have been there less than five minutes and already be having pervert hands strolling down on me! I was actually in a “dark room” of a Finnish sauna and the “strolling pervert hands” were those of a 60-some old creepy fuck! I was so surprised, agitated and speechless that I just didn’t know how to react: I stood still, cold as ice (just like most Danes act all the time) and didn’t mutter a word. I handled it for a few seconds and then left the room.

I then wanted to go around the sauna to see how the rest of the installations were looking. There were something like three floors and the upper ones were sort of whorehouse-looking. It had kind of a creepy atmosphere; TV screens displayed everywhere with gay porn playing on them and plenty of small booths built to accommodate “flirting at its climax”. I quickly began to be horny and seek to copulate. I sashayed around all the hallways looking for the hottest piece of Dane I could find and hunt down one that appeared to be just fine. I invited him to join me and we started kissing and frolicking and stuff when I suddenly started feeling guilty and bad thinking about all the illnesses or viruses that I could catch in a place like that! And as I began worrying about it, God must have heard my discomfort because at that very moment, my nose went dry and ran with blood everywhere. I excused myself, went to the bathroom and wiped it until it stopped bleeding. And there it went: I told him I was feeling sick and weird and that I needed to go back to my (shitty) hotel and sleep. I never saw him again.