As previously mentioned in one of my September articles, "Danske Invasion", I went to Denmark and Sweden (and other countries) last summer.
First off, I need to tell you how randy I was about going there! It’s been such a long time since I fantasized about visiting the Vikings and their bodies countries :-P! I actually went to Copenhagen and this, on my own since Fabulous Andy didn’t want to accompany me up North as she felt it seemed “excremely boring”. May sound lonesome and boring to some of you, but as for myself, I was über-ecstatic to finally get a piece of Nordic blonds’ ass.
Before I go into intimate details with this story, I need to contextualize the situation I was in when I landed on Copenhagen’s Kastrup Lufthavn’s tarmac: I had stayed on my own in flawless Amsterdam for the last five days and had had Dutch “sightseeing” which eventually led to my burning desire to have raunchy garage sex. I had resisted going out chasing beasts or popping it wild at nearby saunas which left me greedy and thus, needy. While on the plane (at 8h30 fucking AM), I was feeling tired but yet truthfully excited to be about to land in “Northern Sex Haven”.
I arrived in Copenhagen two hours later and the weather was awfully shitty and cold compared to what I had benefited in Amsterdam. Nevertheless, I wasn’t disappointed when looking at hot “Great Danes”. It was more that I could handle and I knew it, that’s why I found the address of a sauna in Copenhagen’s micro-gaybourhood and planned to go there on my very first night. And that’s basically what I did but as naïve and unaware about what gay saunas implied, I simply thought that I could go there to “relax”, shower and bethink myself. The sauna was called the “Amigo Sauna” and is supposedly the most notorious sauna in Copenhagen and in Denmark. Here’s the Google Map link (in case you’re close to there and want to “sneak a peak”):
and their website link: http://www.amigo-sauna.dk/
What astonishment was it to have been there less than five minutes and already be having pervert hands strolling down on me! I was actually in a “dark room” of a Finnish sauna and the “strolling pervert hands” were those of a 60-some old creepy fuck! I was so surprised, agitated and speechless that I just didn’t know how to react: I stood still, cold as ice (just like most Danes act all the time) and didn’t mutter a word. I handled it for a few seconds and then left the room.
I then wanted to go around the sauna to see how the rest of the installations were looking. There were something like three floors and the upper ones were sort of whorehouse-looking. It had kind of a creepy atmosphere; TV screens displayed everywhere with gay porn playing on them and plenty of small booths built to accommodate “flirting at its climax”. I quickly began to be horny and seek to copulate. I sashayed around all the hallways looking for the hottest piece of Dane I could find and hunt down one that appeared to be just fine. I invited him to join me and we started kissing and frolicking and stuff when I suddenly started feeling guilty and bad thinking about all the illnesses or viruses that I could catch in a place like that! And as I began worrying about it, God must have heard my discomfort because at that very moment, my nose went dry and ran with blood everywhere. I excused myself, went to the bathroom and wiped it until it stopped bleeding. And there it went: I told him I was feeling sick and weird and that I needed to go back to my (shitty) hotel and sleep. I never saw him again.
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