St-Lawrence: The Roar of the Cougars

Have you ever heard of a game called ‘MILF Hunting’? It’s basically that sport played by young men who want to have some experimented sex with a woman about 15 to 20 years older than them. I don’t judge them. It’s true that sometimes young girls who don’t have a large sex background are sometimes as fun to hump as baby dolls. But personally, I don’t see myself MILF Hunting, even with the hottest mom I could have. I’m not saying it won’t ever happen (never say never in life; it brings bad luck.. god damn I just said it... anyway... stop reading at the asides... look at the text you dumbasses = P )… but the odds are pretty much against it.

The thing is that even if I’m not playing this game… I’ve always been part of it in its soft inverse version. MOMS LOVE ME! I don’t know if this is related to the fact that I’m a big, blond and blue eyed gentleman, but I’ve always been in the good graces of my friends’ moms. Even if some of my buddies would say that I can be brown nose, I’d rather say that I’m polite, flattering and respectful toward older people, and specially with ladies. It’s not flirting; it’s decorum. Problem is...; it appears to me that some seem to have great pleasure in "crossing the boundaries".

Do not jump quickly to conclusions, I’m not suggesting that they all want to kidnap me and attach my hands and feet to a bed in their husbands' dead zone. But I don’t know… I just feel my privacy violated sometimes by their stares. My mother once caught a bunch of 40 years old mature talking about my buttocks while I was on a baseball field playing 3rd base. As a third baseman, I always have to bend my knees a little and kick my ass back; it’s a baseball basic position to be ready if a ball comes to me…not a free invitation to your depraved eyes madam.

I’m not a piece of meat. I’m a man. I got feelings. I love to entertain you mature ladies, but my wiener heart goes to your daughters. I’m a good friend for your children, and that’s all! But know that I still appreciate you though for all you’ve done for us = your kids. I’ll always be there to enjoy the meals you cooked for me and to listen to your interesting conversations about life, which make me laugh (like your cheezy anecdotes about my friends' childhood) and think some of the time.

Moms rock, but they simply never gonna rock my bed.