Rodzilla: Lady Gaga's Career, What About It?

I know this might sound a bit bizarre but I've happened to read a comment famed ex-supermodel and whore Janice Dickinson has said on Lady Gaga which caught my attention and raised my eyebrows. According to J-Dick, Lady Gaga's music would be "like elevator music, as far as I'm concerned. All the gays are looking for something new. She's history!". Do you really believe Lady Gaga could already be history?! At such a young age? I guess that as for now, Janice will always be way more of a has-been than Lady Gaga! Let's just point it out this way: she's 55 and hasn't modeled for years while Gaga is 24 and had multiple record-breaking hits and (sexy and fashionable) music videos.

  

The always classy, Janice Dickinson

Rodzilla: Male Models or Sport Hunks?

Once again, you probably noticed by the title that this article will be of vital concern. Indeed, everybody (who’s anybody) who’s attracted by men MUST read this article.

Over the course of the last years, I’ve had the very pleasurable opportunity to fantasize and to make my fantasies cum to life, which is definitively something everybody wishes.

After wondering about my physical attractions, I always kept running into the same question: would it be hotter to fuck this flawless male model (and have sweet ‘N smooth sex) or to mate with this marvellously sexy and rough Sport hunk? Do you guys prefer a dude that’s more effeminate or more masculine? I know, it sounds a bit phoney and awkward because this leads once again to the awe question that is top or bottom.

Well, Entschuldigen Sie but I had to ask. I am very curious and LOVE to hear all sorts of crispy stories. If you want my opinion on the latter, I’d say it depends on my mood; sometimes I’m feeling so raw ‘N rough that I’d love to bump into this twinky lil’ nice ass and hurl like a bear. Some other times, I might just tend to be a bit more submissive and would love to be tickled by a hunky jock’s pickle. You have to accept your cravings and feed your libidough.

Furthermore, my will to entertain and delight your eyes will not stop here; just take a look at the hot men I posted below:

Chad White (a Dolce und Gabbana model, my all-time favourite)

Tom Brady (Gisele Bündchen’s lucky husband)

Rodzilla: Varennes = NO NO

This is a rest from last night's frustration. Okay so I had told you about the incredibly jerky dude called Vincent. But now lemme tell you the most utterly obnoxious shit: after the "princess" insulted me, I really wanted to leave, like right away. And then my two "friends", female friends - which do not include Terrine - wanted me to lift them up to Varennes! Excuse me?! Varennnes?! NO WAY JOSE! In case you're not from Montreal or have neva been thurr, go on google map and type Varennes, QC. You'll soon see what kind of a crapsack it is!!!

Do I look like a taxi driver?! I guess no because A) I'm not an immigrant and B) I DO have a driving license. Therefore, I wouldn't give them a lift, especially since the fucker Vincent was coming along with them! Anyways, I had to talk you into that. But by the way, it doesn't mean I never give lifts to people; I'm a member of Amigo Express but Varennes will always be a NO-NO.

Rodzilla: Solidarity, Maybe?!

Okay, I’m writing this up to you because I need to empty my heart from what happened to me last night, or should I say, this morning since it was so “late”. Listen very carefully as this is of very importance level.

As Terrine and I proceeded to getting to a shitty party that I had been invited to, I told her I wasn’t sure I still wanted to go but had people HARASSING me to come. Therefore, we went even though.

We arrived there and it was crowded and messy and my “friends” were already way-too-tipsy. I met this new gay dude called Vincent – I need to put his real name on here ‘cause I’m so full of hate now – which seemed quite nice at the beginning of our night. Like any other mundane party, it wasn’t that exciting; people were all about to puke their guts out, girls were acting whorily, boys were acting douchey. It was crap, literally.

Having the same liver capacity as Asians for alcohol consumption, I was way-too-tipsy very quick. I started dancing and frolicking and liked it a lot. It was so hot and nasty inside that place that we decided to go outside to take some fresh air. And that’s where the inevitable happened: the seemingly nice dude called Vincent started to insult me like a real cunt, apparently taking benefit out of my tipsiness. By insulting I mean he started to show off like a real princess and act as if I were just a loser while this asshole seemed to be after me all along before. He then proved to be even worse: a name-it-diva; he started to tell me that he was so over the gay village because it was “just for desperate horny biotches” and that he didn’t need anything like it because he had a boyfriend and another guypal crazy about him. He pushed it even further by mentioning the fact that Mister Oh-so-Fabulous was studying Physics at McGill. What kinda mothafucka is that?!

I was very shocked and stunned; I couldn’t understand what I coulda done that made him feel so insecure and cocky. While all of this boring monologue was being dictated, I was so confused and agitated I could barely pull a word out, which made me feel so angry afterwards. The douche even ended his monologue by telling me he found himself way more masculine than me!!! Can you annoy me and piss me off a bit more?! I don’t think so!

Thus, the big question here is: why are most gays so reluctant and bitchy towards other gays? Haven’t we all been prosecuted and laughed at before? So why would we want to do that to our buddies once again? Between our own community?!! That’s sado-maso and sad, it’s all I can say.

In fact, The dude pumped me up so much I started feeling like Mike Tyson and thought I was about to punch him real hard. Luckily, I’ve been gentlemanly enough to shut up, pull my thoughts together and LEAVE. If that blog weren't intended to be anonymous, I would’ve posted pics of myself and pics of him so that you guys could compare, but trust me: I was worth a billion more than him.

Rodzilla: Boats 'N Hoes

Mein Gott! That's über-funny! A weird and anoying friend of Terrine showed that to me while she was taking a break from his presence and led me alone with him! What a mean gal.

Rodzilla: Such a Shy'm that this song isn't that popular yet!

Je sais, this song was released this summer but hey, I love it! I watched the clip for the first time when I was in the south of France last july. Loves it! Any thoughts?

Rodzilla: Stay The Night

Main topic here: after having some good ol’ canoodle on a one-night-stand, would you accept to spend the rest of the night with that person? I’ve been wondering about the question since about a year now. Everything started when I had this very nice “one night” and since I’m very old-fashioned and have the same physical capacity of a grandpa, right after it was done, I felt like running back home and having a restful 12-hour sleep to cope from my performance.

But the thing is this : even if we hadn’t known each other for more than 3 hours, he kept whining for me to accompany him all night long. I felt very flattered but I truly didn’t feel like it. We finally called it quit and I’ve been able to pull it through, head back home and mend lol!

I wouldn’t say I would never stay the night on a one-night-stand but I think this is definitely not something you should dare to do! Especially since the mere action standing by itself is already risqué ya know?! I have never done it yet but I don’t even look forward to doing it; I mean that person mighta just been a “buck fuck” and may not even have enough potential material to become a fuckfriend!

So what do you think? Would you really be willing to transform the “one night” into a whole night?

Rodzilla: Eben so schön!

OMG like I know this movie ain't that recent but hey, Fabulous Andy, Terrine and I LOVE that movie!!! It has to be one of the best comedies ever. I needed to share because hey, that's my community and I need to represent it not resent it. This particular scene is definitely the all-time best; I mean could there be a more memorable quote than "Pitcher in the streets, Catcher in the sheets" with all the tongue action involved in his über-sexy pronunciation?! Another Gay Movie, another gay memorabilia.

Rodzilla: When Old Fantasies Cum True...

First of all, lemme start my article by asking you if you noticed the very evident sexual innuendo I just made in the title? Well, that's very me, I know the three of us (Terrine, Fabulous Andy and I) might sound extremely naughty but in fact, we are and that's what makes us so wonderful.

Okay so this time I'll try not to be so long and exhaustive, let me talk y'all into my shit: Old Fantasies. Yep, that is correct, sex fantasies, whether they're cheesy, spooky or violent, regardless of their nature, they have to be! Just ask Fabulous Andy about it 'sti! She now knows way too well that without a sex life in the bedroom, nothing's going to go anywhere. That is why I have the ultimate best piece of advice: don't repeal your fantasies, make them cum alive, literally.

Remember that obsession you had on that guy in High School (who had the nicest ass you've ever seen), God knows (and accepts) the fact that you would be willing to give away your two kidneys just to fuck him. Well for Christ’s sakes, y'all need to listen to some old-school Mariah Carey hits like "Make It Happen"! Remind yourself of the line where she says "you can make it, make it happen", well that's exactly what I want you to do! Force yourself into it and never even think of the eventuality of regrets. You shouldn't have any; regrets are for losers, real people would always be willing to rebuild New Orleans for the umpteenth time. Your sex life is just like the land under Louisiana’s metropolis; it can sink below sea level at any given time! Neva take it for granted sistaz! Therefore, will you please raise your fucking skirt! This is mainly the opposite of what Janice Dickinson (the self-proclaimed World’s first supermodel) would say and I know that, but I think skirts are like standards; they’re meant to be high.

Basically, I wanted to write this column for all the boring bitches living in Nebraska, Oklahoma, ARKANSAS and Alabama who’ll pass their whole lives seeking for a stinking smelly bastard, JC Penney, creationism and apple pies à la mode (btw that’s the correct way to write à la mode, take notes). I want all of you to please, pretty please, cum to reality: we’re in 2010, gays are (supposedly) not  prosecuted anymore, blacks have the same rights as whites, the earth is polluted, straight men don’t go to university anymore and women are becoming more and more powerful. So will you ever understand it and take benefit out of it?!

Rodzilla: Bel Ami?! Who Wouldn't Want A "bel ami"?!

Like the title implies, the matter here is of very important concern : Bel Ami Online. Yes, you read well, I will once again talk to you into porn. I think Porn can be all at the same time; fabulous, sexy, skanky, crassy, trashy, whory and yet, classy and artsy. Somehow I do believe Bel Ami is part of the latter; the videos and photography displayed out there are quite pretty and artsy if you allow me. I like most of the models, especially the very sexy and delicious Dolph Lambert, Kris Evans and of course, Erik Bouna which looks a lot like Terrine's younger brother. Ooops! Did I just write that? Scratch that! Nonetheless I do want to warn you another time against porno addiction; Bel Ami is easily the most attractive website on the internet, watch out!

http://tour.belamionline.com/tour.aspx 

Terrine: Bad Movie, Good Date!

I'm glad Rodzilla brought up the "Piranha 3D" subject!... It reminds me of one date I had lately...

I went out with this guy I had a crush on to the "cinéparc" to watch "Piranha 3D" and I can tell you with no doubt that even if the movie was really bad... the date was really good.

And if you think about it for a minute, it's totally logical.

If the movie is bad, you have no reason to watch it, so you can do plenty of other (or hotter) interesting things during the film.  And at the end of the date, both of you can agree on two things: First, on the fact that the movie was no good at all, and second on the fact that, however, you had a great time.

So I hope Rodzilla is going to continue to suggest us bad movies, 'cause they are definitely good opportunities!

Rodzilla: Pirahna 3D Official Trailer

Terrine, Fabulous Andy and I were just so pleased to see this incredibly hum good movie last week that I felt like making some free promotion for it. The film is honestly a B-movie but I think B is the new A+ and in this case it totally works. I guess the main goal of the movie is probably the same as any other "horror" movie of this genre whereas "Friday 13th", "A Nightmare on Elm Street", "Chucky Doll" all had the same kind of vibe and audience; young effervescent teenagers ;-)! Hope you enjoy!

Oh by the way the only thing that tickled us is the fact that they employed Montreal-based staff and that they haven't paid them yet, screw them!!! Let's sympathize with our fellas from tha hood.

Rodzilla: Dolce & Gabbana to Celebrate Naomi's career = MARVELOUS

The famed italian gay couple that once was Dolce & Gabbana will celebrate Naomi Campbell's fashion career's 25th anniversary. How amazing! Can you believe she's now 40 years old?! She doesn't look that old fo' sho' mothafuckas, she's still a hot mama who knows how to get men and... trouble!!! You just have to think of all the crap she's been involved in: cell throwing, community service, court, BLOOD DIAMONDS, TYRA BANKS, P. Diddy and so much more! I think just Tyra Banks and P. Diddy alone are worse than Blood Diamonds haha! Don't you agree?!

Anyways y'all, let's not get too far from the subject here: Dolce und Gabbana's Naomi Campbell t-shirts. The über-heiß brand will be releasing a limited edition of collectable t-shirts. The release will include 14 different t-shirts showcasing Miss Campbell's body abilities and thigh muscles. The photos that will be used for the tees will be coming from the work of the world's most notorious fashion photographers such as Patrick Demarchelier, David LaChapelle, Mario Testino, Elle von Unwerth und so weiter (meaning etc. in german).

The sales of those babies-to-be will start on September 10th in Dolce und Gabbana's New York boutiques. Don't miss'em! We certainly won't (especially me!). I don't know for Fabulous Andy or Terrine but as for myself, I love to wear sexy folks on my t-shirts which always provides me with attention and potential dates!

As a delight for the eyes : a look at Naomi's freshly baked pâté

Rodzilla: Biggest penis or biggest spoof?!

OMFG! Can you believe I have HAPPENED to find something that obnoxious on the web?! Well, the answer is yes and it has to be a spoof 'cuz I think no one could handle that panhandle! I do believe it's a spoof because that could almost not be possible for a man to have that much of a big blood vessel-filled organ! Anyways, I still have some hopeful doubts...! I'd like to know what you guys think of that?! Is anyone dumb whore-ny enough to really believe that this dude has a real cock that huge?!

Definitely mouth-watering lolz!

Fabulous Andy: A New Start in our Supersex World

Definitely the "Emancipation of Andy".

I've been too calm in the past year, dragging on a platonic long-term relationship - my first one in fact - and being sex-deprived. In fact, I've been more intimate with my dildo than with the dude. It's a cute purple plastic penis-shaped toy, but nothing beats a man. NOTHING.

I finally dumped the guy and have been having a hell of a good time ever since. The word "no" should never come from a man's mouth when asked if he wants to get laid. Never mind sexism. Men live to fuck and be fucked. That's the end of it.

And I do fuck like a man, according to Carrie in the "Sex and the City"'s first episode. I rarely get emotional about it. No "he-took-my-virginity-he-must-be-the-one" kind of bullshit, the kind of stupidities my childhood friend, who will be called "Dreamer" for the purpose of this blog, believes in.

I mean, she will let him do anything to her as long and he's content and happy. She lets him touch her tits in public or he constantly tells my friends and I how nicely she sucks his dick. The mere thought of the guy naked makes me want to puke. Besides, cuming in her mouth after thirty seconds is a sign of premature ejaculation, not of her "natural talent" for blow-jobs.

Let's cut this short for now and try to finish this article with class instead of raunchiness.

I swear I will tell you everything about my funniest one-night stands, may they be good or bad. Hopefully, you guys will have a good life and continue on with normality.

Now, I have to go searching for writing material in the Montreal suburbs. Ciao!